Meeting Mayya

Almost a month of no blogging. I miss this space but somehow this last few weeks I just didn't feel like writing anything. It's like the life of the previous me was sucked away somewhere far, somewhere solitary...For awhile, I lost the pleasure of doing things I used to love - sewing, photography and blogging. Days went by, I could barely remember my daily trips to the library, burying myself in books, trying to focus, trying to forget. Now that my final exam is finally over, I find myself yearning to write, to connect, to communicate again - through this space. I hope this is still the real me, not an unknown Zura pretending to be how she used to be (feel).

I met a special friend today. We first know each other through this cyberspace. We met because we shared the same passion that is sewing. And now that we have met in real life, I am amazed at how well we gel. It's like we have known each other for a long time. Meeting Mayya was precious and very memorable.

My Omani friend, Mayya - such a lovely girl, we clicked instantly! We chat and shared like sisters and I could not take my eyes off of both mother and daughter - so, so beautiful...

The girls - little Dania and Hanan - were very shy but polite to each other and both Mayya and me giggled when we noticed how they exchanged timid, little smiles to each other :)

To my dear friend Mayya, thank you for taking the time to meet us. You are an amazing, passionate person with a huge heart...I wish you lots of love and happiness and may you reach the dreams of your life and success be with you...

Lots of hugs and kisses,

Zura

In Memories..Maizatul Adlin, My Little Sister....

My beloved baby sister, the youngest and closest to my parents, Maizatul Adlin Mohamed, 20 years old, passed away peacefully at home at 12.30pm, Thursday 26th May 2011, after a long battle with Malignant Peripheral Nerve Sheath Tumour (MPNST), a rare type of cancer of the nerve.

It is now exactly six days since her passing and only this morning I found the courage to sit down and sort some photos to make this entry. At first I was doubtful whether a tribute here on this space is a good thing but my mother asked me to write so that the memories of her stay forever especially for the little ones in our family. They might be too young to remember so they can come back and read in the future about their beloved Ciksu Lyn who was so attached to her nieces and nephews…..

Bottom left (with me and Aisha) : In April, could still sit up.
Top (with parents), Bottom Right (with the maids) :
In May, could no longer sit had to prop the bed

Lyn was the baby in the family…at only 20 she was like any young ladies, full of life, outgoing, love making friends and just enjoying life. When the tumour was discovered she was at college doing her 2^nd year of TESL as she dreamt of becoming an English teacher. She had always loved children and I knew she would be a great teacher. 

The tumour, stemming from a condition called NF1, when discovered was already at advanced stage and it was the aggressive type. She was in constant horrible nerve pain and had to be given high doses of morphine and towards the end, ketamin. The doctors said it is unresponsive to chemo and gave her one time radiation. After that Lyn was basically bed bound as she lost the function of both her legs. She quickly lost a lot of weight and towards the end it was heart-breaking to see her so frail. The family was with her round the clock and my parents hired two maids to help. Hospital visits become the norm of my life. After almost 5 months in the hospital Lyn told the doctor she wanted to go home. We lost her 9 days after she arrived home.  Now, without those visits and the little chit chat with her I feel empty….somehow I forgot what normal is…..

Lyn my darling…I don’t know how to write poetic words to describe my feelings here…what I know is the loss is just too profound, the hurting is too real and this bouts of crying are just not helping. You were such a spirited young lady…you were strong and courageous and all things that make up for becoming a great person. But Allah loves you more…and we know you are in a better place now, where there is no pain, only peace and love. Your memories will stay with us forever....You need to rest my love…may your soul be amongst the blessed ones…Ameen…

Exactly 2 days after Lyn’s passing, our family is blessed with the arrival of my 3^rd nephew, Faris Ihsan. My second sister, Masni, gave birth via C-Section at Hospital Serdang, and when my parents came to see their new grandchild, we could see how their eyes light up with joy amidst mourning the loss of my sister. 

Could you see how they look worn out but at the same time happiness shines through? Alhamdulillah…Allah is Great and we are forever grateful….

My beloved new nephew, Faris Ihsan Khalid, your presence means a lot to this family. We love you.

Lastly, thank you to all of your wishes and condolences we truly appreciate it. Thank you to Idamurni for being there for me during the funeral, it means a lot to me. This whole experience had somehow given me a new perspective of my purpose in life and how in any tragedy, love will always prevail and family is everything.

Love,

Zura